A Glimpse Into God's Heart

"How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?" As I read these words in Psalm 13, my heart resonated with them. Shannon's death has left an empty spot- in our hearts, in our team, in Buryatia. "Why do we have to feel such sadness, God?" I asked. And I believe He answered. We are not created for death. Death only has come into the world because it's fallen and broken... because of sin. But God created us for life. He, too, is grieved by death. And how much more, spiritual death. There are precious moments in life that God allows us to feel part of what He feels and to get a peek into His soul. I remember when I was engaged to Leif, feeling the intense emotions of love and excitement and anticipation and thinking what a gift it is that God allows us to feel that and to see a glimpse how He longs for His bride, the Church. And when we had Anneka, I was amazed at the deep, selfless love I felt for her. A sacrificial love that wants the best for her. And that's a glimpse into God's deep love for us. This is especially heightened when I think of Him giving His only Son because of the problem of sin and death in our world. And so, even though there are moments when I never feel that my heart could fully feel happy again as I grieve the loss of Shannon, I'm thankful for this gift right now. It's a gift to remember how much God longs for everyone to have eternal life! It's a gift to remember the seriousness and pain of separation from God. I pray that this will be a catalyst for sharing Christ's love with others. I'm so thankful that Shannon is spiritually alive. "Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints." Psalm 116:15 I'm thankful that she lived her life sharing Christ's love and life with many, many people.




We had two memorial services for Shannon in Ulan Ude. One was a smaller one with the Buryat Partnership (people who meet monthly). These sweet ladies made a feast for us to share after the service.



The second service was packed. People of all different ages, socioeconomic classes and races crowded in to remember Shannon and celebrate her life. It was really good to have these services and process together and share memories.

We're also thankful that we were able to listen to Shannon's stateside funeral via a live feed through the internet. What a wonderful invention of modern technology!

We are seeking to find a "new normal" as we live our lives here without Shannon. As I was walking the other day, looking down into the valley, I couldn't help thinking that there is a huge hole in Buryatia where Shannon belongs. But we move forward and cherish our memories and share the God of life and love in His power....